Spending almost an entire week (from last Tuesday through tonight) assisting a couple dozen WRIT 111 students, both my own and other people's, with their researched arguments. I like teaching the project. I like how easy it is to explain what they still need to do. I don't like how few of them actually have any idea of how one might go about engaging an opponent in an intellectually-honest way.
So does anybody know of any good papers in favor of gun control? Or arguing either side of stem-cell research? I want there to be good papers about these things, maybe just to know that good papers on such topics can in fact be written, but I'm really starting to think that they just don't exist at the freshman level.
4.27.2009
Monday Update, Briefly
Temperature: record-breakingly high.
Productivity level: respectable.
Food supplies with which one can make a full meal (as opposed to "let's have some canned peaches and...some canned pears...for lunch"): will not last out the week. My milk and juice, for that matter, aren't going to last out tomorrow, and the bread will probably be gone after Wednesday. I should probably get groceries tonight, while I still have some semblance of time or can fool myself into thinking I do. This despite the note I left myself on the to-do list I did actually write out for today: "DO NOT OVERSHOOT DINNER HOUR."
The bad news: I have to have what may be, God help me, about an hourlong meeting with Joe Weil on Thursday. What on earth he expects us to talk about for that long (at least I'm not the only one - everyone got one of these), I have no idea.
The good news: Writing Center shift automatically cancelled for Friday because basically Dr. Kinney's just doing various parties for various reasons that day.
Now you know.
Productivity level: respectable.
Food supplies with which one can make a full meal (as opposed to "let's have some canned peaches and...some canned pears...for lunch"): will not last out the week. My milk and juice, for that matter, aren't going to last out tomorrow, and the bread will probably be gone after Wednesday. I should probably get groceries tonight, while I still have some semblance of time or can fool myself into thinking I do. This despite the note I left myself on the to-do list I did actually write out for today: "DO NOT OVERSHOOT DINNER HOUR."
The bad news: I have to have what may be, God help me, about an hourlong meeting with Joe Weil on Thursday. What on earth he expects us to talk about for that long (at least I'm not the only one - everyone got one of these), I have no idea.
The good news: Writing Center shift automatically cancelled for Friday because basically Dr. Kinney's just doing various parties for various reasons that day.
Now you know.
4.25.2009
Saturday
My Saturdays are never as work-intensive as they should be, but I think I got enough done to justify my not going to Hot Dog Day. Of course, getting anything done, given the amount of work I have, would justify my not going to Hot Dog Day, but never mind that for now.
I have to say, it's very satisfying to be able to lie on your stomach on a clean carpet in a comfortably-lit, clean room to grade student work. Doing that on top of having gotten enough sleep meant that I wasn't as frustrated by the drafts as usual. Plus, researched arguments are, despite being the longest assignment of the semester, usually easiest to grade, since the kinds of things we're asking them to do are so logic-based and articulable. Not "articulable" in the sense of "I always did a good job teaching the first time," but in that of "at least I can tell them what they should be doing instead."
I've been noticing that my written mechanics on this blog are periodically questionable (for example, the way I do quotations in the previous paragraph), but at least I'm consistent about them, so I'm going to call it my personal manual of style. So there.
Also, unrelatedly: there is sourdough bread in my fridge, and even though it's a little tough and not nearly as good as San Francisco's, it is still good. The end.
I have to say, it's very satisfying to be able to lie on your stomach on a clean carpet in a comfortably-lit, clean room to grade student work. Doing that on top of having gotten enough sleep meant that I wasn't as frustrated by the drafts as usual. Plus, researched arguments are, despite being the longest assignment of the semester, usually easiest to grade, since the kinds of things we're asking them to do are so logic-based and articulable. Not "articulable" in the sense of "I always did a good job teaching the first time," but in that of "at least I can tell them what they should be doing instead."
I've been noticing that my written mechanics on this blog are periodically questionable (for example, the way I do quotations in the previous paragraph), but at least I'm consistent about them, so I'm going to call it my personal manual of style. So there.
Also, unrelatedly: there is sourdough bread in my fridge, and even though it's a little tough and not nearly as good as San Francisco's, it is still good. The end.
List, Newest
Here's what I definitely have to do between now and this coming Friday, in addition to class and Writing Center stuff:
-Get as much reading as possible done toward my at-least-ten-page-long theory-based paper for Strehle's class, which's almost certainly due May 5th instead of next week, but I'm double-checking that right now
-Read and comment on fifteen researched-arguments, ranging between six pages and about twelve (though I don't have a copy of about half my students': I cracked down on assignment requirements and handed back, as yet unaccepted, the work of those students who, despite my warnings, flouted MLA format, scholarly-source requirements, etc. - and will therefore end up having to do most of these between Tuesday and Thursday)
-Whatever Joe Weil makes me do for poetry class, which I'm still trying to figure out because he never bothered assigning us anything last class, which I didn't realize until after class, which is bad news because he's nigh-on impossible to reach over anything but cell phone, and I'm really hoping not to have to call him. Most likely: having to write another ten poems by this coming Wednesday. These ones should probably, unlike the last ones, refrain from sucking. Note to self: show, don't tell. Come at it like poetry, not rhetoric; you're not in comp all the time.
Speaking of which, another thing I'm checking the due date on: compiling my "teaching portfolio," which will pretty much include designing my own course and two activities supposedly part of that course, which's the last hoop I have to jump through before I get my Certificate in the College Teaching of Composition, which's the closest the comp department can offer me to a "specialization" in composition (which's great, since I had no promise or expectation of any such thing when I came in).
The reason I'm hoping to do some of my paper today is that next Saturday is my birthday, and I'm really hoping to not have to spend it talking theory. But, considering that I slept 'til past eleven(?!) today and am still half brain-dead (though I did put the finishing touch on last night's cleaning by vacuuming the floor, so my room looks very nice, though, oddly, smaller than when it was messy), I probably will. Still, it's much better than last year, considering that last year I had to write those three awful papers back-to-back-to-back. This semester I still have three projects to complete (Strehle's, Weil's, the portfolio), but at least they're not quite so bangbangBANG like that. Plus, even better, I'm in my own apartment now, not flooded out and in somebody else's.
I was smart enough this year to not go to Hot Dog Day, much as I'd like to be there right now.
Days until graduation: twenty-one.
-Get as much reading as possible done toward my at-least-ten-page-long theory-based paper for Strehle's class, which's almost certainly due May 5th instead of next week, but I'm double-checking that right now
-Read and comment on fifteen researched-arguments, ranging between six pages and about twelve (though I don't have a copy of about half my students': I cracked down on assignment requirements and handed back, as yet unaccepted, the work of those students who, despite my warnings, flouted MLA format, scholarly-source requirements, etc. - and will therefore end up having to do most of these between Tuesday and Thursday)
-Whatever Joe Weil makes me do for poetry class, which I'm still trying to figure out because he never bothered assigning us anything last class, which I didn't realize until after class, which is bad news because he's nigh-on impossible to reach over anything but cell phone, and I'm really hoping not to have to call him. Most likely: having to write another ten poems by this coming Wednesday. These ones should probably, unlike the last ones, refrain from sucking. Note to self: show, don't tell. Come at it like poetry, not rhetoric; you're not in comp all the time.
Speaking of which, another thing I'm checking the due date on: compiling my "teaching portfolio," which will pretty much include designing my own course and two activities supposedly part of that course, which's the last hoop I have to jump through before I get my Certificate in the College Teaching of Composition, which's the closest the comp department can offer me to a "specialization" in composition (which's great, since I had no promise or expectation of any such thing when I came in).
The reason I'm hoping to do some of my paper today is that next Saturday is my birthday, and I'm really hoping to not have to spend it talking theory. But, considering that I slept 'til past eleven(?!) today and am still half brain-dead (though I did put the finishing touch on last night's cleaning by vacuuming the floor, so my room looks very nice, though, oddly, smaller than when it was messy), I probably will. Still, it's much better than last year, considering that last year I had to write those three awful papers back-to-back-to-back. This semester I still have three projects to complete (Strehle's, Weil's, the portfolio), but at least they're not quite so bangbangBANG like that. Plus, even better, I'm in my own apartment now, not flooded out and in somebody else's.
I was smart enough this year to not go to Hot Dog Day, much as I'd like to be there right now.
Days until graduation: twenty-one.
Compensation
Well, I didn't start grading my students' work tonight, as I should have. On the other hand, after I vacuum my floor tomorrow (I shouldn't do it right now, as it's after midnight), it'll be the cleanest my rooms been in weeks, maybe months.
4.24.2009
Economics Considered (With Lists!)
Two things:
1. Why did none of you Binghamtonians ever tell me how cool the BU Food Co-Op is? Oh, that's right, because you've got meal plans, so you don't get charged a ridiculous amount of money for campus food. But even you, who occasionally pay $4.35 or whatever for a cruddy roast-beef wrap at New Union, should take note: if it's Monday - Friday and between 10 AM and 5 PM, go down the stairs by the food court and find Room B-20. That's the Food Co-Op, and you can probably get lunch there for half the price you'd pay upstairs (you'll prolly have to microwave it, but there's one on the premises). It'll even be organic. Where has this place been on all the days I've forgotten lunch or had to stay over dinner? Downstairs, apparently, but still.
2. I understand that things are cheaper as you get farther from a city, but I had no idea of the degree to which the types of stores change as you travel from Binghamton proper to Vestal (west of that) to Endicott (west of that). It goes from expensiveish-to-moderate stuff to, like, discount-shopper stuff. Probably none of you will be as interested in this as I am, but check it out, starting at the extreme eastern edge of Vestal (that is, just outside of the city limits) and heading west:
University Plaza (east of campus): HealthyU, Five Guys (I forget their prices, but considering that they're not a sit-down restaurant with wait staff, they're expensive as compared to other burger joints of their style), Coldstone Creamery, Moghul, WeTea (though, yes, to be fair, also Subway, Tully's, Mario's Pizza, and China Wok, which are all more or less moderate-to-inexpensive).
Vestal Parkway, heading west from campus: certainly a mix of everything, but this's where they put places like Panera, Staples, Target, IHOP, Kohl's, the new diner, the hotels, Nirchi's, all that sort of stuff. There's a second-hand clothing store, but it's a consignment shop; it's nicer stuff, and their prices are a few bucks higher than an actual thrift store.
West of that are the Wal-Mart plaza, adjacent strip malls, and stretch between them and Rt. 17, which looks at first glance like a free-for-all, but, check it out, the more moderate-to-expensive restaurants and stores are almost all on the side of the street that's going east (it's a divided parkway, each part running one way, so that's not just a detail in passing). I mean, seriously: heading east you've got, like, Pier 1, Ann Taylor Loft, Lemongrass, and Starbucks. Heading west you've got, like, Subway, A&W, and Long John Silver's.
And after that:
Vestal Parkway, west of the I-17 ramps: small local businesses (BC Bicycles, Barbells of Binghamton [no lie, there really is such a place], Vestal Deli & Bakery), the old-nifty-and-I-think-cheaper diner. The strip malls have ended by this time, though obviously there're still plazas.
From there: Big Lots, Salvation Army, Blimpie, Grand China Wok. No strip malls or shopping plazas anywhere here, as far as I can tell.
The reason I mention this is because I went to Big Lots today because, I don't know, I had a few groceries to get and I was in the mood to check it out (I haven't shopped there in several years). For those of you unacquainted with it, Big Lots is a chain of stores that buys overstocks (both food and general merchandise--cookware, board games, socks, that stuff) and resells them, so you get stuff for cheaper than you normally would. The selection isn't nearly as good as any normal supermarket, the quality is kind of hit-and-miss (though obviously they're not going to resell anything unsafe or spoiled), and you can't count on any one thing being there all the time, if I remember correctly (the reason is obvious enough). So I came in, not to do a week's grocery shopping, but just to grab some things I knew I needed, and got a bunch of stuff, most of it brand-name, for only $11.87...and started thinking about it when the cashier-lady told me my instant pad-thai (among the items I was buying) looked good, I commented that it was a lot cheaper than one from Wegmans would have been, and she answered that she usually couldn't afford to shop there. Considering that Wegmans is a better value than any other supermarket around here besides, like, Aldi, I didn't expect to hear that. But what I'd bought would have cost me considerably more at Wegmans--probably double if I stuck to brand names, like they were mostly selling here--so I could see what she meant.
Speaking of grocery shopping, it's time for dinner.
1. Why did none of you Binghamtonians ever tell me how cool the BU Food Co-Op is? Oh, that's right, because you've got meal plans, so you don't get charged a ridiculous amount of money for campus food. But even you, who occasionally pay $4.35 or whatever for a cruddy roast-beef wrap at New Union, should take note: if it's Monday - Friday and between 10 AM and 5 PM, go down the stairs by the food court and find Room B-20. That's the Food Co-Op, and you can probably get lunch there for half the price you'd pay upstairs (you'll prolly have to microwave it, but there's one on the premises). It'll even be organic. Where has this place been on all the days I've forgotten lunch or had to stay over dinner? Downstairs, apparently, but still.
2. I understand that things are cheaper as you get farther from a city, but I had no idea of the degree to which the types of stores change as you travel from Binghamton proper to Vestal (west of that) to Endicott (west of that). It goes from expensiveish-to-moderate stuff to, like, discount-shopper stuff. Probably none of you will be as interested in this as I am, but check it out, starting at the extreme eastern edge of Vestal (that is, just outside of the city limits) and heading west:
University Plaza (east of campus): HealthyU, Five Guys (I forget their prices, but considering that they're not a sit-down restaurant with wait staff, they're expensive as compared to other burger joints of their style), Coldstone Creamery, Moghul, WeTea (though, yes, to be fair, also Subway, Tully's, Mario's Pizza, and China Wok, which are all more or less moderate-to-inexpensive).
Vestal Parkway, heading west from campus: certainly a mix of everything, but this's where they put places like Panera, Staples, Target, IHOP, Kohl's, the new diner, the hotels, Nirchi's, all that sort of stuff. There's a second-hand clothing store, but it's a consignment shop; it's nicer stuff, and their prices are a few bucks higher than an actual thrift store.
West of that are the Wal-Mart plaza, adjacent strip malls, and stretch between them and Rt. 17, which looks at first glance like a free-for-all, but, check it out, the more moderate-to-expensive restaurants and stores are almost all on the side of the street that's going east (it's a divided parkway, each part running one way, so that's not just a detail in passing). I mean, seriously: heading east you've got, like, Pier 1, Ann Taylor Loft, Lemongrass, and Starbucks. Heading west you've got, like, Subway, A&W, and Long John Silver's.
And after that:
Vestal Parkway, west of the I-17 ramps: small local businesses (BC Bicycles, Barbells of Binghamton [no lie, there really is such a place], Vestal Deli & Bakery), the old-nifty-and-I-think-cheaper diner. The strip malls have ended by this time, though obviously there're still plazas.
From there: Big Lots, Salvation Army, Blimpie, Grand China Wok. No strip malls or shopping plazas anywhere here, as far as I can tell.
The reason I mention this is because I went to Big Lots today because, I don't know, I had a few groceries to get and I was in the mood to check it out (I haven't shopped there in several years). For those of you unacquainted with it, Big Lots is a chain of stores that buys overstocks (both food and general merchandise--cookware, board games, socks, that stuff) and resells them, so you get stuff for cheaper than you normally would. The selection isn't nearly as good as any normal supermarket, the quality is kind of hit-and-miss (though obviously they're not going to resell anything unsafe or spoiled), and you can't count on any one thing being there all the time, if I remember correctly (the reason is obvious enough). So I came in, not to do a week's grocery shopping, but just to grab some things I knew I needed, and got a bunch of stuff, most of it brand-name, for only $11.87...and started thinking about it when the cashier-lady told me my instant pad-thai (among the items I was buying) looked good, I commented that it was a lot cheaper than one from Wegmans would have been, and she answered that she usually couldn't afford to shop there. Considering that Wegmans is a better value than any other supermarket around here besides, like, Aldi, I didn't expect to hear that. But what I'd bought would have cost me considerably more at Wegmans--probably double if I stuck to brand names, like they were mostly selling here--so I could see what she meant.
Speaking of grocery shopping, it's time for dinner.
!
So I woke up this morning, a lot earlier than I expected, because it was so bright. Maybe it was the light quality peculiar to such days, but I kept thinking about last summer as I was getting up, had sort of a vague connection in my mind between early-summer mornings and ones like this. We've been getting days in, like, the 40s and 50s recently, so I didn't really have much reason to make the connection, but it did sort of seem, though I don't know if I ever put words (or whatever) to the thought, like this should be a warm day.
Then I went on weather.com and was pleasantly shocked by this:
Mom, Jo, and Aunt Cath are going to have a great Hot Dog Day.
Then I went on weather.com and was pleasantly shocked by this:
Mom, Jo, and Aunt Cath are going to have a great Hot Dog Day.
4.21.2009
(yikes)
I'm impressed with the people who read my end-of-term blog entries every semester. They all pretty much carry the same general theme, namely, this sucks, and I feel like a bad person.
For example, as far as the latter goes, I think I may have accidentally made one of my boys cry today. One of the formerly-arrogant ones. Like, I don't think I was harsh, but I had to explain that his researched-argument draft wasn't quite successful yet. It's near the end of the semester, and he's always come into each project with confidence in his inherent skill, and each time I've had to burst his bubble. Part of it, too, was probably the rest of his workload - I think he's also in physics, and the physics-class failure rate at this school is apparently sky-high - but either way, when he left, his voice was awful thick and he looked pretty crushed.
I keep surprising myself with new reasons to have to feel guilty about the way this stupid semester has gone. At least I'm not the only teacher of my team who's having discipline and draft-quality problems - Melissa and Leigh are, too. Aaron reassured us that spring semester is always worse than fall. Matt was just Matt - he's so experienced to begin with, and smart on top of it, that even though he must have problems once in a while, he never seems to.
I have eight poems to write by 5:50 tomorrow. I think maybe I should just go to bed now and get up at, like, three. Or something. But I need some sleep, because it's gotten to that point where I'm fine with people I'm talking to but liable to be angry at everyone I'm not, for various and probably stupid reasons.
For example, as far as the latter goes, I think I may have accidentally made one of my boys cry today. One of the formerly-arrogant ones. Like, I don't think I was harsh, but I had to explain that his researched-argument draft wasn't quite successful yet. It's near the end of the semester, and he's always come into each project with confidence in his inherent skill, and each time I've had to burst his bubble. Part of it, too, was probably the rest of his workload - I think he's also in physics, and the physics-class failure rate at this school is apparently sky-high - but either way, when he left, his voice was awful thick and he looked pretty crushed.
I keep surprising myself with new reasons to have to feel guilty about the way this stupid semester has gone. At least I'm not the only teacher of my team who's having discipline and draft-quality problems - Melissa and Leigh are, too. Aaron reassured us that spring semester is always worse than fall. Matt was just Matt - he's so experienced to begin with, and smart on top of it, that even though he must have problems once in a while, he never seems to.
I have eight poems to write by 5:50 tomorrow. I think maybe I should just go to bed now and get up at, like, three. Or something. But I need some sleep, because it's gotten to that point where I'm fine with people I'm talking to but liable to be angry at everyone I'm not, for various and probably stupid reasons.
Summary
Spring '09: In which I find that I should either 1) learn to not keep being intimidated by spoiled, patronizing, and/or sullen teenage boys; or 2) get out of the teaching business. And the phone-lending business, for that matter.
4.16.2009
Bad Press
So there's this huge whonking AIG building in University Plaza, with people working there 'til like 1:00 every morning (maybe even twenty-four hours; I don't actually know). But I noticed as I drove by the building yesterday that the big AIG sign has been covered over recently; the new banner says "21st Century Insurance."
The local AIG employees aren't gone; 21CI is apparently just an AIG subsidiary. Still, I feel kind of bad for them--the name was probably clarified for a reason.
The local AIG employees aren't gone; 21CI is apparently just an AIG subsidiary. Still, I feel kind of bad for them--the name was probably clarified for a reason.
Flaw
I have a lot of good angst music, both the overt kind and the clever, artistically-distanced kind, but I don't have anything that's good for frustration. Anger music, if I even had any, would be too much. And angst doesn't quite reach that spot.
4.15.2009
A Little More
Heh, so how about I tell you what I had my students do after they wrote the opening paragraphs, lest you think that's all we did for ninety minutes?
Because they've got oral presentations coming up, I had them practice their delivery by coming up front and reading out their opening paragraphs. (I was kind of a pain in their necks, stopping them when necessary by barking out, "A little slower!" or "Look up!" or "A little louder!") Because we were doing this with creative writing, and only short bursts of it, it was a little easier to keep everyone's attention, which was cool.
And then we had a big discussion about intros and how they work, and then they wrote the introductory paragraphs of their actual researched-argument projects (half the project is due next class, but I knew very well that most of them probably hadn't started writing yet; the kid who had just took out his draft and polished his intro accordingly), following the same "context + problem + solution" formula I'd just given them. Then a few people read theirs out, and you know what? They were mostly very good, especially considering that not everyone had done a heck of a lot of research. Even the ones that needed fleshing out at least seemed to have context, a problem, and a solution. And they weren't even too formulaic--the guy who'd already had his written ran it by me because it seemed to stick only loosely to the format (it actually stuck to it fine; he'd just dropped out the "problem" element because his audience could tell so clearly what the problem was, which was all right), and it ended up being the best intro I heard (not that I heard more than three or four, but you know).
Then we went into two other very quick mini-lessons (a thing on how to question scholarly work that might be shoddily done and a thing on avoiding "weasel words, peacock terms, and glittering generalities," which I pretty much copped right off Wikipedia, to be honest), and that was the day.
I forgot to teach them about conclusions, which I'd meant to do (since I'm thrilled to know that I can tell them it's just the intro formula backwards--"solution + problem + context"), but we'll do that later; it won't kill them not to know right away.
Whoa, gotta go shower before my WC shift.
Because they've got oral presentations coming up, I had them practice their delivery by coming up front and reading out their opening paragraphs. (I was kind of a pain in their necks, stopping them when necessary by barking out, "A little slower!" or "Look up!" or "A little louder!") Because we were doing this with creative writing, and only short bursts of it, it was a little easier to keep everyone's attention, which was cool.
And then we had a big discussion about intros and how they work, and then they wrote the introductory paragraphs of their actual researched-argument projects (half the project is due next class, but I knew very well that most of them probably hadn't started writing yet; the kid who had just took out his draft and polished his intro accordingly), following the same "context + problem + solution" formula I'd just given them. Then a few people read theirs out, and you know what? They were mostly very good, especially considering that not everyone had done a heck of a lot of research. Even the ones that needed fleshing out at least seemed to have context, a problem, and a solution. And they weren't even too formulaic--the guy who'd already had his written ran it by me because it seemed to stick only loosely to the format (it actually stuck to it fine; he'd just dropped out the "problem" element because his audience could tell so clearly what the problem was, which was all right), and it ended up being the best intro I heard (not that I heard more than three or four, but you know).
Then we went into two other very quick mini-lessons (a thing on how to question scholarly work that might be shoddily done and a thing on avoiding "weasel words, peacock terms, and glittering generalities," which I pretty much copped right off Wikipedia, to be honest), and that was the day.
I forgot to teach them about conclusions, which I'd meant to do (since I'm thrilled to know that I can tell them it's just the intro formula backwards--"solution + problem + context"), but we'll do that later; it won't kill them not to know right away.
Whoa, gotta go shower before my WC shift.
4.14.2009
Update
The service: no one went. I had perfect attendance. I feel like I sort of degraded it unintentionally in the way I gave them a chance to leave if they really felt like they needed to, but I guess I can't guilt about everything, hard as I seem to try.
The first part of my lesson: was made of win. Inspired by the text I was working from, which pointed out that scholarly introductions actually work much like fairy tales (first the context, then the problem that disturbs the context, then the solution), I had my students write opening paragraphs to fairy tales/superhero stories/Disney movies (either ones they made up or good retellings of existing ones). And it went off just about as nicely as you please--these are the moments when I'm glad for my livelier students, because as much trouble as they make when they're bored, they're great as soon as I find a legitimate way to put them on stage. Thanks be to God; I was so not ready for anything when I got up this morning, and I still could have done better in the teacher-team meeting especially, but I keep forgetting that with a little structure and divine mercy, teaching sometimes is the best part of my day.
The first part of my lesson: was made of win. Inspired by the text I was working from, which pointed out that scholarly introductions actually work much like fairy tales (first the context, then the problem that disturbs the context, then the solution), I had my students write opening paragraphs to fairy tales/superhero stories/Disney movies (either ones they made up or good retellings of existing ones). And it went off just about as nicely as you please--these are the moments when I'm glad for my livelier students, because as much trouble as they make when they're bored, they're great as soon as I find a legitimate way to put them on stage. Thanks be to God; I was so not ready for anything when I got up this morning, and I still could have done better in the teacher-team meeting especially, but I keep forgetting that with a little structure and divine mercy, teaching sometimes is the best part of my day.
Okay. Seriously.
So, for as long as you guys all remember (don't worry if it isn't that long), you're going to have to do me the favor of not offering me anything caffeinated past about noon. I've long been aware of, say, the dangers of bubble tea after dark, but the problem apparently also surfaces earlier than that, and it doesn't take much to keep me awake for a shockingly long time.
Another thing about the shooting that probably makes me sound more callous than I intend to: as a Binghamtonian, I totally understand the importance of holding a memorial service for the victims, particularly as some of them have connections to this campus. But as a lackey teacher in a standardized course, I sincerely wish that they'd picked a better time than 4:30 this afternoon, at least if President DeFleur's going to duck the responsibility of actually answering the question of whether classes are cancelled during that time period (she's given neither an unequivocal no nor a definite yes, probably because today's the first day back from spring break). I teach at that time, and though my freshmen almost certainly have no direct connection to the victims, they might have reasons for wanting to go (and in my heart I think I count as valid all potential reasons except "it would get me out of class," even if it's just sheer anthropological curiosity about how a community deals with such things), but who then again might not. In a course where absences count for so much (not that I'd count them absent, but I'm thinking of the lost time here), I don't think I could justify just cancelling class outright unless there was major interest in going, but the announcement of the service just came yesterday, way too late for me to find a way to gauge honest student opinion. Plus, in a course this big, you know someone else is going to cancel his/her section because they want to be there (more grads know people who were lost, or know members of the affected families, than the undergrads do), and am I going to have to have my students think me coldhearted if I don't?
I suppose you could accuse me of worry for its own sake, as whatever happens, it will probably turn out fine, but it bothers me--and, because I'm a dark and fallen person, it also bothers me because my lesson isn't planned and I'd like to know whether I have to plan it on this fatigue and caffeine-hangover headache or whether I'm just going to end up cancelling anyway.
Also, as a teacher, I understand now, in a way I didn't before, how Carrie's reaction to Virginia Tech (she kept a Xanga at the time, though it's dead now) was essentially I run a fellowship made up almost entirely of Asian students, and the shooter was Asian, and some people are commenting on that fact, so I'm not really sure how my students feel or what my place is here. At the time, I thought that nobody would be stupid enough to generalize from an Asian shooter to an Asian population, though even then I was being a little hypocritical--after all, wasn't I bracing for the people, however few, who'd hear from his video rant that he considered himself Christian and generalize his falseness to us? But this semester I have exactly one non-native-speaker, an Asian boy, who seems like he's very shyly aware of his international status within the class (I wish I knew more, but I can barely get him to speak), and, I don't know, I don't have the time or the words to describe it, but I feel like this whole thing and how he might feel about it is more my...responsibility(? That's not right, but I'm not sure what is) now than it would be if I were just his fellow student.
I've got to stop here anyway and, among other things, plan my students' lesson. I have this feeling like it's never going to take the full ninety minutes, but today, honestly, I just don't think I care.
Another thing about the shooting that probably makes me sound more callous than I intend to: as a Binghamtonian, I totally understand the importance of holding a memorial service for the victims, particularly as some of them have connections to this campus. But as a lackey teacher in a standardized course, I sincerely wish that they'd picked a better time than 4:30 this afternoon, at least if President DeFleur's going to duck the responsibility of actually answering the question of whether classes are cancelled during that time period (she's given neither an unequivocal no nor a definite yes, probably because today's the first day back from spring break). I teach at that time, and though my freshmen almost certainly have no direct connection to the victims, they might have reasons for wanting to go (and in my heart I think I count as valid all potential reasons except "it would get me out of class," even if it's just sheer anthropological curiosity about how a community deals with such things), but who then again might not. In a course where absences count for so much (not that I'd count them absent, but I'm thinking of the lost time here), I don't think I could justify just cancelling class outright unless there was major interest in going, but the announcement of the service just came yesterday, way too late for me to find a way to gauge honest student opinion. Plus, in a course this big, you know someone else is going to cancel his/her section because they want to be there (more grads know people who were lost, or know members of the affected families, than the undergrads do), and am I going to have to have my students think me coldhearted if I don't?
I suppose you could accuse me of worry for its own sake, as whatever happens, it will probably turn out fine, but it bothers me--and, because I'm a dark and fallen person, it also bothers me because my lesson isn't planned and I'd like to know whether I have to plan it on this fatigue and caffeine-hangover headache or whether I'm just going to end up cancelling anyway.
Also, as a teacher, I understand now, in a way I didn't before, how Carrie's reaction to Virginia Tech (she kept a Xanga at the time, though it's dead now) was essentially I run a fellowship made up almost entirely of Asian students, and the shooter was Asian, and some people are commenting on that fact, so I'm not really sure how my students feel or what my place is here. At the time, I thought that nobody would be stupid enough to generalize from an Asian shooter to an Asian population, though even then I was being a little hypocritical--after all, wasn't I bracing for the people, however few, who'd hear from his video rant that he considered himself Christian and generalize his falseness to us? But this semester I have exactly one non-native-speaker, an Asian boy, who seems like he's very shyly aware of his international status within the class (I wish I knew more, but I can barely get him to speak), and, I don't know, I don't have the time or the words to describe it, but I feel like this whole thing and how he might feel about it is more my...responsibility(? That's not right, but I'm not sure what is) now than it would be if I were just his fellow student.
I've got to stop here anyway and, among other things, plan my students' lesson. I have this feeling like it's never going to take the full ninety minutes, but today, honestly, I just don't think I care.
4.10.2009
Beneath Thy Cross
Am I a stone, and not a sheep,
That I can stand, O Christ, beneath thy cross,
To number drop by drop Thy Blood's slow loss,
And yet not weep?
Not so those women loved
Who with exceeding grief lamented Thee;
Not so fallen Peter weeping bitterly;
Not so the thief was moved;
Not so the Sun and Moon
Which hid their faces in a starless sky,
A horror of great darkness at broad noon--
I, only I.
Yet give not o'er,
But seek Thy sheep, true Shepherd of the flock;
Greater than Moses, turn and look once more
And smite a rock.
-Christina Rossetti (h/t At a Hen's Pace)
That I can stand, O Christ, beneath thy cross,
To number drop by drop Thy Blood's slow loss,
And yet not weep?
Not so those women loved
Who with exceeding grief lamented Thee;
Not so fallen Peter weeping bitterly;
Not so the thief was moved;
Not so the Sun and Moon
Which hid their faces in a starless sky,
A horror of great darkness at broad noon--
I, only I.
Yet give not o'er,
But seek Thy sheep, true Shepherd of the flock;
Greater than Moses, turn and look once more
And smite a rock.
-Christina Rossetti (h/t At a Hen's Pace)
4.09.2009
More on Binghamton
So here's how it feels to be a citizen of a city hit by tragedy--one that happened only three miles away from me--but not to really know anyone affected, let alone be affected myself: it feels weird. For one thing, I'm awed and, God forgive me, sort of fascinated by our appearance on national news--every hour on NPR last Friday (NPR! Which covers the real news!), suddenly there we were, not only in the mouths of Melissa Block and Michele Norris, but their top story. And I felt this gratefulness whenever anyone on TV or radio (or anything else, like the White House) took time out from their broadcast or whatever they were doing to wish us well, even though I also felt like I was stealing it because I was so thoroughly, by the incident, untouched. That well-wishing was for my town, but it wasn't really for me.
Mostly the incident brings about a certain amount of low-level guilt, because I know I should feel worse about it; I know it's supposed to freak me out the way that everyone in the vicinity is always supposed to feel freaked out, but, though I sort of wish it did, it doesn't. I'm used to hearing about shootings--of all stripes, since any kid who grew up in Monroe County knew from junior high on that Rochester had the highest number of murders per capita in the state, maybe the country. Columbine was frightening because I was in eighth grade and we'd never heard of anything like it before. September 11th was frightening for many reasons--we all remember. But after those atrocities, all others seem (again, God forgive me) to pale. To be honest, shootings feel so commonplace now that part of my surprise about our sudden landing on the national map stems from the fact that (and yet again, God forgive me) "only" fourteen people dead still draws so much attention.
Here's what shocked me most, actually: how fast the racist crazies came out of the woodwork to leave their poisoned mark on the whole disaster. No lie, my least favorite idea in journalism ever has to be the system that allows your average bitter mindless yahoo to comment, unfiltered, on a newspaper story posted online. I try hard not to be an elitist; I try to embrace everyone with the same cheerful enthusiasm G.K. Chesterton did; but the white supremacists jumping right on the story with their paranoid tirades, and the stercoraceous radio show Savage Nation immediately making Jiverly Wong and every student of the Civic Association into "illegal immigrants" who'd get off scot-free because "the system" and the government were only their to kiss their tails--those were the things I turned away from.
But, obviously, most people have been wonderful--Catholic Charities started fundraising pretty much immediately, using the money to get the victims' families here to America for the funerals, providing for the bereaved, things like that. Davis College held one prayer vigil of many. I'm sure our Red Cross's disaster team sprang into action.
So it's been an experience, and I know I wish I could wear it more honorably, less disappointingly. But there's really very little I can tell. Any questions?
Mostly the incident brings about a certain amount of low-level guilt, because I know I should feel worse about it; I know it's supposed to freak me out the way that everyone in the vicinity is always supposed to feel freaked out, but, though I sort of wish it did, it doesn't. I'm used to hearing about shootings--of all stripes, since any kid who grew up in Monroe County knew from junior high on that Rochester had the highest number of murders per capita in the state, maybe the country. Columbine was frightening because I was in eighth grade and we'd never heard of anything like it before. September 11th was frightening for many reasons--we all remember. But after those atrocities, all others seem (again, God forgive me) to pale. To be honest, shootings feel so commonplace now that part of my surprise about our sudden landing on the national map stems from the fact that (and yet again, God forgive me) "only" fourteen people dead still draws so much attention.
Here's what shocked me most, actually: how fast the racist crazies came out of the woodwork to leave their poisoned mark on the whole disaster. No lie, my least favorite idea in journalism ever has to be the system that allows your average bitter mindless yahoo to comment, unfiltered, on a newspaper story posted online. I try hard not to be an elitist; I try to embrace everyone with the same cheerful enthusiasm G.K. Chesterton did; but the white supremacists jumping right on the story with their paranoid tirades, and the stercoraceous radio show Savage Nation immediately making Jiverly Wong and every student of the Civic Association into "illegal immigrants" who'd get off scot-free because "the system" and the government were only their to kiss their tails--those were the things I turned away from.
But, obviously, most people have been wonderful--Catholic Charities started fundraising pretty much immediately, using the money to get the victims' families here to America for the funerals, providing for the bereaved, things like that. Davis College held one prayer vigil of many. I'm sure our Red Cross's disaster team sprang into action.
So it's been an experience, and I know I wish I could wear it more honorably, less disappointingly. But there's really very little I can tell. Any questions?
4.03.2009
Large, Friendly Letters
Of course something would happen that'd make people want to call me on one of the very few days I left my cell phone at home before I went to campus. Yes, that is my Binghamton featured on the national news today because of the big shooting. Believe me, most of us citizens are as baffled as anybody. I, as you can tell, am fine; it was at the American Civic Association, and I wasn't there or anywhere nearby.
As far as I know, few Binghamton students were on the premises--though the building does hold English classes by day, and apparently we do have some non-native speakers who go there. However, they might not even have been in class today, most of them, since we're just now getting our spring break (it starts after today--we wait 'cause we have it over Passover), and some students will have skipped class for transportation or other reasons.
That is the building where folk dancing is held on Thursday nights, not that I've gone there since last fall.
As for tonight and this weekend, I am going to Alfred for a friend's wedding shower and won't be back 'til Sunday. In the meantime, of course, please wish us well and pray if you're so inclined--I'm not real shaken up myself, being so far from the actual scene of the chaos, but I am hoping I don't recognize anyone on the casualty list.
As far as I know, few Binghamton students were on the premises--though the building does hold English classes by day, and apparently we do have some non-native speakers who go there. However, they might not even have been in class today, most of them, since we're just now getting our spring break (it starts after today--we wait 'cause we have it over Passover), and some students will have skipped class for transportation or other reasons.
That is the building where folk dancing is held on Thursday nights, not that I've gone there since last fall.
As for tonight and this weekend, I am going to Alfred for a friend's wedding shower and won't be back 'til Sunday. In the meantime, of course, please wish us well and pray if you're so inclined--I'm not real shaken up myself, being so far from the actual scene of the chaos, but I am hoping I don't recognize anyone on the casualty list.
4.01.2009
Now There's Something I Didn't Expect
You know all the random, tiny, stupid links with one-line descriptions at the bottom of online news stories, or on the side columns?
At the bottom of a news piece I just read, clustered in with very normal-seeming ones about BlackBerry App World, etc., is one that says, seemingly-predictably, "Pics of Hottest Girls," but then goes on to give this description:
"Galleries of Hot Geeky Girls With Beauty & Brains. Who's Your Fav?"
Maybe it's an April Fool's Day joke. Or, not that I've ever seen it, maybe Big Bang Theory's having a bigger effect on popular culture than I thought!
At the bottom of a news piece I just read, clustered in with very normal-seeming ones about BlackBerry App World, etc., is one that says, seemingly-predictably, "Pics of Hottest Girls," but then goes on to give this description:
"Galleries of Hot Geeky Girls With Beauty & Brains. Who's Your Fav?"
Maybe it's an April Fool's Day joke. Or, not that I've ever seen it, maybe Big Bang Theory's having a bigger effect on popular culture than I thought!