Today we had the kind of blizzard that might (might) have led to a school cancellation even in Rochester. We were all off. A. teleworked. L. slept a lot. I watched her and moodled around the internet and read a little and tried to make a meal plan and a grocery list.
L. is ten months old now, and some of having a ten-month-old is easier than having a younger baby (probably most of it is, really). A few things are harder, mainly the ongoing transition to solid food after enjoying a hard-won nursing groove for a while, as well as the having to be so vigilant and intervening when she plays because she won't. stay. still, but we also don't have any baby gates (no objection to them - just a small apartment and a weird-but-sadly-kind-of-unsurprising lack of follow-through on getting them). She's fun, and adorable, and great, and tiring, and I am excited and also scared to be one of her parents.
As much as I love A., I miss having other nerdy, well-read friends. I think I'm more social-media-dependent lately, even as I often hate it as much as ever, because it's the only way I can get any of what those kinds of friends used to give. I check the Twitter channels (and blog posts, as applicable) of Alan Jacobs and Jamie Gladly and Simcha Fisher nearly every day, but because I've always loved reading blogs, I'm only just realizing that right now it's probably mostly because I can't get to the likes of Carrie and Leah and Joe. You would think that I would just, you know, contact them. But that's kind of complicated sometimes, and more awkward than I would have expected.
I've tried to play the game here. I did Thrive for a long time, and it's been quite good sometimes. I'm trying MOPS, and it's too girly and its Christianity is too superficial, but the meetings have their advantages and their value. I go to any English-department thing I reasonably can, and talk too much, and later second-guess things I said. But it's not the same.
But old friends and places aren't the same, either. I can picture moving back to Binghamton or Alfred (but with us doing what jobs?), and in some ways those are happy pictures. But there are some question marks there, too. Alfred feels like it might be getting more ideologically polarized, and some of the people there that A. and I like most are aging rapidly. And Binghamton - I think going back to Good Shepherd (I mean, realistically, that's what we would do, if there) would involve a lot of reverse culture shock. As for Rochester, that might be my real preference, of the three. But I think of my brother running into high school buddies who "never got out" of there - I don't know. (Plus, ugh, after getting used to winter here actually not starting until December, and then actually ending in March...)
I hope 2018 doesn't burn me out as much as 2016 and 2017. I need God. And I want smart, kind friends.