Right, am supposed to be doing a brief essay for college to apply for online-journalist status (if I get it, basically I get a blog-of-sorts upon which to post my college experiences), but instead have talked to my friends, looked at webpages, listened to music, read e-mails, and generally not concentrated. Hence current i-mood "distracted".

Went out parallel parking and crap. The S is for sucks. ...Four days to test. Hm.

SFE picnic tomorrow, ya-a-a-a-ay!

-Laurel

'kay, have once again swiped an idea of Ananda's for my blog: this time it's an i-mood. I've been fascinated by these things for a while, but I thought you'd have to jump through a lot more hoops to get one. Jeesh, the thing's got more mood-words to choose from...some of them I had to look up, didn't even know really what they meant...yay, word-geek-ness! *g*

...but knew "pensive", and that's kinda what I am, so think will listen to dc Talk's "What if I Stumble" and U2's "Dirty Day", 'cause that's kind of my pensivity music. Maybe REM's "Texarkana", too, now that I have it. ::laughs:: Why did they make that song the theme for "Homework Hotline", anyway? I never did figure that one out.

Week of Insanity to come, many updates to follow.

-Laurel

Well, seeing as Aneya specifically requested an update--*g* Well, I can't promise it'll be good, but hey, she said enough nice things about my blog to get me on here at quarter-after-midnight-on-a-work-night.

So yeah, much happened on the "auspicious" date of the 26th (*g* to Ananda)--"got" myself an October-Bono (lo-o-o-ong story involving 'Nanda and Megs and ohhhh dear what've I gotten myself into now?), two hours of driving (out to test-place, lots of parking and K-turns and practice)--got home, thought I'd maybe go to bed early, and promptly spent three hours on the phone. ::laughs:: 'Til ruddy eleven at night, else it'dve been more. But was great.

Movie-ness yesterday with Bethie and Nate and Matt D. and Jen P. and Glenn, saw League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which was a cool idea, but executed rather questionably. Neither as bad, in my opinion, as Bethie and Nate would have it, nor as good as Matt and Jen thought. Sean Connery's accent is amusing. And we all got yelled at for making noise. *g* Bethie and Nate specifically, but it should have been us all, it was when we were all like, hey, that part looks like Fellowship, the making of the Uruk-hai in Isengard!

Today was work, lots of it, but it's getting better. I've gotten to tolerate batch-indexing pretty well, but it was good that my boss was out today, 'cause I was totally zoned out for a lot of it. ...Got quite a bit done, but as often happens, too little sleep + better things to think about = braindead-ness.

Which's what'll happen tomorrow, but I think I'm setting up something instead of doing computer-work, which'll be a welcome change. Cheerio.

-Laurel

'kay, so we actually didn't go to Wal-Mart; Daf's mom found that a bit ambitious. So my scruples go undirtied for the moment *g*, 'cause instead we went down to Jitters, and then back to 'Nanda's house and played DDR, which Daf had 'cause she's still borrowing it from Brian-the-Tall (as distinct from Brian-that-Kid and Bryan DeWind, who are not short but do not achieve nearly as much height as the other), and taught 'Nanda's brother and identical-twin friends how to play. ::laughs:: Which was great fun, especially since matantis thinks we're such dorks. (Right, 'Nanda's siblings' names do not contain capital letters; they're merani--or mantikore, depending--and matantis, that's how they've been, so that's how I'll type them.)

And my house has a new car--my dad wanted a cool-looking car, so he bought one--so after I pass my driver's test (which should happen on August 4th--nine days!), the one I've been driving'll get traded in or sold or something, and I'll get a car, yay! My parents want to get me one like Erik's--::snorts::--not that there's anything wrong with that, I like what he's got, except that, you know, he's already got it, and I'd feel stupid to have like the same one, so I'm trying to fanagle my parents into buying their friend's Chevy Lumina (this's the same friend who sent us the thank-you card), which by the experts is deemed equally safe, and which is not like Erik's or any of my other friends's, thereby satisfying both their major criterion and my major criterion. *g* (Criterion being, of course, the singular form of criteria. *g*)

And when my family gets back from seeing Johnny English (I opted out, having hated Mr. Bean and not getting way into that kind of movie anyway), I get to drive out to Albion to practice for my test. So yeah, busy day. Should be decent.

-Laurel

::laughing still::

Once again, like I did about last summer or so, I have to give a major plug to mantikore's lj, run by 'Nanda's little sister, 'cause it's insane but it's ruddy hysterical. Contents around PG-13 for language, as a warning to Bethie and anyone else who might want to check it out. Just as a warning, she and her friends are on a major Alan Rickman kick. As though you wouldn't find that out at first glance. *g*

More later tonight after the random insane yay-Daffy's-license trip to Wal-Mart. Will fight down the side of me that cries out hypocrisy, hypocrisy! Wal-Mart is evil, you said so yourself!

'Cause, dang it, all the non-sweatshop places are closed by this time of night.

-Laurel

::laughs::

Oh...wow. *g*

-Laurel

You represent... naivete.
So innocent and trusting... you can be very shy at
times, but it's only because you're not sure
how to act. You give off that "I need to
be protected" vibe. Remember that not all
people are good. Being too trusting will get
you easily hurt.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

::snorts:: Well, that was entirely predictable. And I mean it, too: I guessed I'd get that without even knowing if it was an option, just based on how I was answering. Don't worry--it was honest. ...And I realize, Aneya, that this quiz has been up on your lj for, like, ever, but it took me this long to decide I wanted to put up with pics on my blog again. ::shrugs:: Call me picky.

Well, or call me naive. ::rereads:: Easily hurt by being too trusting? Meh, I think most trusts work out for the best in the end. ::shrugs::

Today's Attempt at Profundity, Considered While Batch-Indexing at Work:

...If love means never having to say you're sorry, does friendship mean never having to say thank you? 'Cause like my mom and dad's friend came over for Fourth of July, we invited him, he came by himself and brought food or drinks or something, and then he sent us a thank-you card, and it weirded my mom out completely, 'cause usually there's no thank-you deemed necessary. Guess he explained it was 'cause it was just him, he didn't bring his wife and kids, so it was different, and he was glad we'd invited him, but my mom's all like, but you shouldn't have, you didn't need to, and their coworker-person Colleen agreed with my mom.

::snorts:: Well, if it does mean never having to say thank you, there go several of my longest past entries. *g*

Anyway, yeah, more college shopping today. No true color scheme intended so far in the decor, but it all happens to be red, white, and blue, at least furniture-and-bedding-wise, so right now I'm calling it "unintentional patriotic". Bought myself a corkboard, too--yay!--so soon's I get some tacks, which we'd forgotten (oops--*g*), will start tacking up pictures and photos and stuff from English seminar. ::happy grin::

'kay, yeah, becoming more excited about college. But, you know, at the same time, it's getting harder to think of chorus without Daffy, and plays without Jay Jei, and English and math and Spanish without Bethie or Melly or Aneya...it all seems so unreal. One month and five days, that's all I have.

::blinks:: Wow, that's it? ::brow furrows:: Okay, wow, yeah, stuff.

-Laurel

Have begun to accumulate random stuff for college. A rather eclectic mix so far, all stored in one large storage bin, so far the following:

-One towel-and-washcloth set, colored "sun"-yellow

-One binder of sorts from Christy, containing all of the following:
~Two mechanical pencils
~Two markers
~One pad of paper
~An eraser
~A stapler

-Thirteen plastic coat hangers (three white, ten blue)

-Three moist towlettes

-Forty bars of trial-size Dove soap (really. I have no idea where my dad's friends got them, but they gave them to me to use for college)

::shrugs:: So yeah. More shopping to go on soon, but I'm not going to tick off everything as I buy it, don't worry. I just leave you with the thought that it's hard to fit all the necessities of a house into a ten-by-fourteen space, or whatever dimensions half a dorm room takes up.

Thanks so much for putting me up for a week, Zinni, and for coming to keep me company, 'Nanda. Hurrah for stuff.

-Laurel

Hey, Zinni's been sick since about Tuesday night, so the past few days've been slow--lots of reading and sleeping, computer and (today) Nintendo. Buncha relatives are here now for the grad party tomorrow, and Zinnia still feels icky, but she's on antibiotics now, so that's not so bad. She'll feel better some tomorrow--hopefully well enough to eat lots of all the lovely food her mom and her Aunt Suzie've been making over here all week! Every day the kitchen smells wonderful in some different way--cookies, cake, meatballs, salt potatoes...

...plus, she's just tired of sitting around. I don't blame her.

Hope your own party goes well, Aneya; sorry I can't be there.

17 days to drivers' test. I wonder if I'll pass. I know I wouldn't give me a driver's license, but I can do most of the stuff they ask. So we'll see. Cheerio.

-Laurel

Greetings from Zinni's, where the hills are numerous and my supposed milk-allergy has not acted up all week, except a very small version when I was drinking--ready?--ice water. I think we should be looking at temperature of thing being ingested and not at ingredient here. Or could be freezer coolant. Or something random like that.

Anyway, has been an enjoyable week. Have swam and played and gone shopping (mall and supermarket--Giant Eagle markets are cool!), have gone line-dancing with Zinni and family, have gone to an ice-cream shop and gotten lost walking back (it's going to be a while before I wear sandals anywhere there's any chance of prolonged walking), have gone to work and gone babysitting (am actually making money here, Zinni insists on my taking half; jeez Louise!), have read books and slept in and not slept in. Have bought Erik a birthday present, which he may or may not appreciate, but which he's getting anyway. Have had the Cranberries' "Stars" stuck in my head for the better part of two days, and it's starting to get to me. Must listen to alternate music.

There, going now. Happy Ides of July, by the way--being the 16th, I think there're 15 days behind us and 15 before us. Then comes August, with driving test and Newsboys/Audio Adrenaline concert and college--eek! on all counts (though a happy one for the concert)!

Is nice to be here. But miss you all. Oh dear, that doesn't bode well for college, does it?

All right, I'll shut up about college now.

-Laurel

Daf's grad party was lovely, definitely worth waiting for. DDR-ness and talking-ness and some more Skip-Bo.

Tonight's piece of rather disturbing randomness: I may be developing an allergy to milk products. Really. Not like lactose-intolerance, I don't get stomachaches, but my tongue goes all freaky, like tingly and itchy and stuff, like someone's just put static current through it. And my mom says that that's how this guy in her office knew he was allergic to chicken, 'cause he got that kind of effect. It's happened twice, once tonight with milk, once on Wednesday with ice cream. It's weird, and I don't like it, and if I have to start drinking ruddy soy milk, Daf's just gonna laugh at me, and I'm just gonna like have to find a different breakfast food, 'cause I'm a cereal freak.

Right, tired and stuff, and my brother wants to show me this game or something, so I'm off now. Cheerio. I'll try to report while I'm at Zinni's, but no promises, 'cause I don't know how often we'll be online.

Oh, and special thanks to Megs and Kathy and Glenn for grad stuff--you guys're great. :)

-Laurel

Workplace randomness of the day: We have some international students who work in the division--Jason, who's from Jamaica, and Muhammad, who's I think Pakistani.

So Michee (pronounced mih-SHAY), who was also batch-indexing today, asked Muhammad how he was this morning, and she and I were treated to the following random reply:

"Not bad...all in one piece...not being abducted by aliens..."

::giggles:: And later on this afternoon, just about everyone in the office, plus I think Maureen from the other office, ended up in a semi-impromptu conversation about the unending merits of the George Foreman Grill.

So yeah, bizarre little rays of amusement in the working world, like black-light sunbeams, or something vaguely Bequi-ish like that.

-Laurel

Bo-o-o-oy, what a week I've had, by the way. So, sappy or anything like it, now that things've come to a head, it's time for the message that I really needn't write, 'cause the people who'll read it are the people who know it already.

I love you all, and, like talking about dying in AP psych, it's made me realize (in alphabetical order) what I've got...

Ananda, my co-idealist, with all the same questions and uncertainties, how much more of this training do we need before we take on the world? Thanks for not ever being judgmental; you know how to explain without putting someone on the offensive, which's a quality I desperately wish I had.

Aneya, my velcro-partner and my ever-present friend, we were lunch table nomads in the sixth grade, forever kicked out...and on the last day of twelfth grade, we had a table all to ourselves...and you saw Ian and wanted him in. ...I'm sure there's poetry in there somewhere. Anyway, what can I say? Dark or light, there's always us and our conversations. That says a lot of what I can't.

Aubrey, who taught us that we could take on a struggle that looked like life and death, see it look like it'd come to nothing, then have it come to mean so much in the end. You made it impossible for me to live and love at safe, normal levels, and it's the best gift you could've given me. I hope that makes your past days partly worth it.

Bethie, my pacing co-junkie, so quick to feel for everyone, so supportive, so everything Aneya's already appreciated. I only ever say the same thing, that I don't know how I would have gotten through these years without you--Envirothon states. I still remember it.

Bunny, our beloved Martha Brewster, AP psych is right--you've got a much larger happiness capacity than most people. Keep it; it makes other people happy, too.

Calypso, who's been so much more than I ever would have guessed, in so many ways...hang on to our hours online; I don't ever want to lose them. You've meant so much.

Christy, who unintentionally brought us here...thank you. We've had good days, gym and study hall, Leo Club and SFE. I'll go to coffee shops with you anytime.

Daffodil, our friend, there's so much...we love you for always. We're long out of Zinni's basement, but in some ways, so little's changed. But you'll come into your own with everything. We saw that tonight, what you decided to do, what you've been helping us to do.

Erik, I don't even know what to say. We've said it already, I know. Phileo always.

Glenn...how did this happen? I can't even remember talking to you for the first time, I remember the calculator conversation, and hanging out in SFE, but suddenly it was nonsense in Virginia Beach, then suddenly it was talking under Mrs. R's announcements in choir, then suddenly it was Bunny's house, watching the stars. Thanks for the kindness; your yearbook words warm me through.

Jord and Jayj, you've brought so much light to my days, it's been so much more than Arsenic, and that in itself was so much. I'll try to keep it going with the two of you; I hope you don't mind.

Lily, best cousin since we were old enough to mash upright-piano keys side by side as toddlers in feetie-pajamas. "Love ya, babes." Yay roommates.

Melly, so synonymous with Bunny, so distinct from her--thanks for the AP-English-ness, the Leo-Club-ness, and all the years before. And for the tent conversation at Relay for Life; that was good. Have fun in near-Boston ('cause you'll get to be there); don't develop an accent too quickly.

And Zinni, our belovéd friend, we miss you still, all of us. In so many ways, you take us back to the first days...we wish you were here.

Anybody else reading, it's you, too...thanks for everything.

Newsboys said it well, sometimes "it's so hard just to get warm that the chill turns into despair"...it's been so strange for so long, but we'll get by, we always have, and we've taken on things just as hard as this, and some nearly so.

We'll change things yet, to some small degree. I think at this point we couldn't avoid it if we tried.

Well, I guess we could. I guess the point is that we don't try to avoid it; maybe that's made all the difference.

-Laurel

Have been doing for the past week, and will be doing for the next three ruddy weeks (minus the time spent at Zinni's house), nothing at work but batch-indexing for seven hours a day on absent-girl-Amanda's crappy ancient computer in the same office my boss works in aughhhhhhh!

::exhales, slowly grins::

Thanks. Just needed to get that out of my system. (::AP-psych whisper of "catharsis is bad" promptly shoved to back of boredom-withered brain::) Considering my neural net (hey, sounds like Data!) pretty much dies for five hours of the day (I give it about two hours' worth of life while indexing), you know, I do what I can.

'Cause here's what I was thinking about while I was supposed to be figuring out whether the transcripts I was holding were official or not: Hey, that Strong Bad e-mail called "Little Questions", where the guy Viklas from Sweden asks how Strong Bad was seeing out as a baby, or whatever? I wonder if he means Strong Bad's mask, if he was asking if Strong Bad could see out of it as a baby 'cause his head would have been smaller. ...Hey, maybe that'd explain the "wery old" one, too, maybe 'cause old people kind of get shorter, maybe he'll get too short for the eyeholes of his mask...

And then, unfortunately, I came back to reality, and had the following scintillating thought:

Aa-a-a-and once again, I am devoting *far* too much brainpower to this nonsense.

...Oh, but don't worry, Bethie, if you take the job with Kristine, you're not going to be doing that; you'll be in financial aid, a different division altogether. ...Of course, TAP-award inputting could be just as bad; I wouldn't know. *g* But my mom left admissions for aid and's never wished herself back, so hey, it can't be so terrible.

I'm actually more amused than anything right now, and work is getting better. Or maybe my expectations are lower. It's hard to say.

Anyway, tune in next time, same mindless time, same mindless station.

-Laurel

Mm, Bethie's party was great fun. Skip-Bo-ness, playing with little-neighbor-children, sitting in hammock and talking to Aneya, bonfireness with her'n'Bethie'n'Nate'n'Stacie'n'Melly, once the children left. Daf came, too, but couldn't stay too very long. ...But that's okay; her party's next weekend (hurrah!).

After that...there's nothing I can see everyone at 'cept whatever movie-things we get going, 'cause I'm going to miss Aneya's party (::sniffle::) 'cause I'll be at Zinni's (::stops sniffling::). Will attempt to update this blog once or twice while there.

Hm. Wonder how much I'll miss home at college. 'Cause, like, weeklong trips away never bother me. I was the kid who went to Ashokan in sixth grade and barely spared a thought for my family; my brother, on the other hand, guarded the letters we sent him like treasure.

It seems so wrong, but I'll say it here, if nowhere else: I'm going to miss my family, but I'm going to miss my friends a lot more. ...'Course, having Lily to room with makes the family-thing easier anyway. 'Sides...it'll be fun! *g*

Right, so I've decided that I really like campfire smell on my clothes. As a not-really-woodsy person, this has come by surprise, but...well, smell is connected better than the other senses to memory, so...yeah. Nice happy campfires as I've been round these past few weeks.

::laughs:: And Aneya? Love your dream. ...You realize you've completely ruined me for weeks on seeing mud, paintball guns, Erik's katana, or Glenn's laptop without laughing, right? ::laughs:: And c'mon, I'm going to Zinni's house..."I hate you all" just doesn't seem like...oh, dear. ::grins::

::then sighs:: You mean I have to get through a whole week before Daffy's? Like we can't just do it tomorrow or something?

Right, 'kay. Cheerio.

-Laurel

::laughs:: Not-really-news-to-anyone flash: I am a dork.

Turns out you can view your blog in a new window after all. *g*

-Laurel

::shudders a bit:: Creepy, a bit, this.

But it has been, so far, a very good weekend, starting with some AIM therapy for this troubled week (::can't help laughing:: ...causing, in a way, as much complication as cure, but much needed, even so), continuing to some CD-making, some sleep, seeing Finding Nemo (was very funny and good, not at all stupid), a lovely excursion to Borders (where else can one get so much enjoyment out of spending about $50, all of it graduation money? *g*), swimming, seeing a family friend, and reading an incredible just-bought book: The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis. ...Has been about a year since I read it, 'cause I first got it out of the library last summer, have been wanting to reread it since--Lewis books have this quality to them where if you can't read them at will, you definitely miss their wisdom in moments you know you could use them (i.e. how did that sentence go, I know it's relevant to this, it'd help a lot if I could remember it!)--besides, you also miss how they made you feel. Wrinkle in Time books're that way, too, which's why I also bought Many Waters. With both, there's this distinct feeling of victory to finally own them, hold them in your hands and know that they belong to you, that you can read them until either they become familiar like a blanket (and you can quote large wads at will) or the pleasure passes for the moment--so that when you pick them up again some months later, you fall in love all over again. ...Some authors, some books, can do that to me; some can do it for lengths I never thought possible, so that I never really do get tired, after all this time, of Screwtape Letters and Mere Christianity, Watership Down and Cyrano de Bergerac. .

..I envy people who can do that with movies; for, as my fellow movie-nighters know, I can't--my patience for most films drains all too quickly, which is strange even to me (especially to me?), since I'm so familiar with that kind of feeling out of books--and since when I read books, I end up picturing them in my head as though they were movies, so the irony becomes especially confusing to me. I can appreciate the buildup of a book no matter how many times I've heard the story; with a movie, if I can guess what's happening, I'm usually impatient that it should happen and be done with, never mind the trivialities...

Anyway, tomorrow's Bethie's graduation party, which should be a great time also. Bonfires and summer night skies...mm, I am definitely in danger of becoming as addicted to summer as I am to spring...lucky for spring that it has the no-sunburns-and-no-mosquito-bite policies going for it...

::sighs happily:: I'm not so naive as to think that days like these are solutions to problematic ones. But at the very least, they provide a welcome alternate side to reality. If the problems are real, so is the loveliness of sitting in a lawn chair on a warm deck at sunset, beautiful surroundings matching beautiful book-led thoughts. Mm.

Not that, as 'Nanda so aptly puts it, reading C.S. Lewis isn't a bit of a kick in the butt. ::laughs:: I suppose all truly stirring literature is, in some way, but this especially so. Goodness, but life and love are intricate. You can get a headache trying to keep it all straight, the questions and answers and illustrations and analogies--but it wouldn't be worth anything any other way, would it?

Oh, by the way, you can tell my side-columns are updated because the page title will be different, too. ...Though you're gonna have some problems with that if you view this blog inside of Blogger's little windows. Thumbs down to that aspect of newBlogger--the open-in-new-window thing was definitely better. So was editing the posts from the bottom of the entry instead of the top, in my opinion.

M-hm, that's quite sufficient for now. There's a campfire outside and I ought to be around it.

Happy Fourth, everybody.

-Laurel

::sighs:: It needs to be the weekend. Already.

-Laurel